i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
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