I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
