Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
