Heybabeimwearingurpanties
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
