The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
we're chasing vodka with high fives
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
