I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Green mimosas i think yes
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
