I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
