I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
