the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
