OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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