Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
The adults are the big ones right?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
