i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
