I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
