handjob tips. give me some.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
