Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
