Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize