You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
