it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
