I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
