she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
