Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
