clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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