She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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