I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Ketchup is God's man juice
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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