how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
