is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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