that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
