i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
