He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
