You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I'm having to shit out rocks
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
