I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Randomize
