I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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