college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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