I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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