When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
