well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
