she looked like the bat from fern gully.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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