her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
