nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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