sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Found your dick twin last night
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
