Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
