I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
