Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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