Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
