Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
