So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
