And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
