Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
