I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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