Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I'm passing your future prison.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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