last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
