Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
