i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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