No stitches, just platelets and will power
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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